I was 24, had a house, cat, dog and boyfriend and thought everything was perfect. Then a little voice in my head said “something is going to go wrong” – 3 times I heard this. And something did – my boyfriend had a car accident. So, I re-invented my life, first with what I wanted in a partner and relationship – the list was long; from hair and eye color to respect and faithfulness. I read as much as I could and discovered meditation. I never realized how stressed I was until I tried meditation for the first time that day, I found it relaxing and discovered there were lots of things I needed to work on myself: true happiness within, self-esteem, independence, self like, doing things for yourself and not for a man. So I forgot about my relationship goals and I started to grow-up and achieve things regardless of how small they were – but each achievement gave me a good sense of self. I learnt to play pool and snooker which I ranked 2nd in 1993 NZ; and getting picked to represent the South Island was a small achievement by others standards – but for me it meant I can do anything – it gave me confidence in myself and my abilities. At 26yrs I decided to go to university and got a B.A and post graduate diploma in psychology. I also worked in Japan for 2 years teaching English: Founded and started SalsaFitness exercise classes; taught Tai-Chi and Salsa and partner dance lessons; Gave seminars, workshops, private sessions, and weekly classes on personal development, happiness, and relationships; and wrote a personal development book that people can now download for free. And between the boyfriends and the time to work on myself I developed the qualities that attracted a man who exceeds my expectations. We met when I was 40yrs, everyone was telling me “all the good ones are taken” : not true he had all the qualities on my wish list except the blonde hair (which he had as a toddler); respect, honor, equal love, good communication, no baggage, non-smoker, good health, sociable drinker, faithfulness, only had eyes for me etc. The list goes on and I’m happy, I have a great sense of self, and have enjoyed my life very much from the time I started to work on my own personal development.
It’s Your Life, Make the Most of it, Here’s How